# Rank 3 Monsters (Weak)

<emoticon = Monster>
Name: emoticon
Desc: Its exuberant grin merely masks a life of immaturity and a rather
      nasty-looking spiked tongue. It looks like this: <Red>:P<grey>.
Str: 3..6
Def: 5..8
HP: 10..20
TP: 5..10
Rank: 3
{TongueSlash} (2) <(
  # Adjacent only.
  my ($self, $enemy) = @_;
  # Always hit.
  my $damage = 2 + random(3, $self->g("Str"));
  # Disregard armour. Gets you in the face.
  $self->msg("[1P] slimy, spiked tongue slithers out and catches you across the face, delivering $damage damage!", $self, $enemy);
  $enemy->take_damage($damage);
  return 1;
)>
{AnnoyingLaugh} (3) <(
  # Annoys you, preventing next attack. Anywhere in vicinity.
  my ($self, $enemy) = @_;
  $enemy->react(
    to => ["Before", "attack"],
    when => 1,
    by => sub {
      $enemy->msg("[subj] [are/is] too overcome with giggles!");
      return -1;
    },
    Name => "LAUGHING"
  );
  $self->msg("[subj] emits an annoying, high-pitched laugh that really bugs [1].", $enemy);
  $enemy->{Laughing}++;
  # Remove reaction in 3 turns.
  $enemy->delayevent(3, sub {
    my $enemy = shift;
    $enemy->msg("[subj] pull yourself together.");
    $enemy->eventoff("LAUGHING");
    $enemy->{ModeLaugh} = 0;
    $enemy->{Laughing}--;
  });
  $enemy->{ModeLaugh} = 1;
  return 1;
)>
Symbol: Red P
Behavior: <(
  if TP_lower(2),
    run()
  if adjacent(),
    attack(TongueSlash)
  if near(8) and TP_higher(2) and percent(30),
    attack(AnnoyingLaugh)
  else
    stupid_chase()
)>
Exp: 2
</>

<codebug = Monster>
Name: code bug
Desc: You spent hours questioning your sanity over this one. Though it was
      finally fixed, it returns in your nightmare as an oversized pulsating
      worm-like organism.
Str: 2..4
Def: 4..6
HP: 15..20
TP: 7..10
Rank: 3
{InduceHeadache} (3) <(
  # Lowers TP. anywhere.
  my ($self, $enemy) = @_;
  my $tp = random(3, 5);
  $enemy->{TP} -= $tp;
  $enemy->{TP} = 0 if $enemy->{TP} < 0;
  $self->msg("Gah! <white>Why<grey> is that bloody value uninitialized?! This is hurting [1P] head!", $enemy);
  return 1;
)>
{LeechConcentration} (5) <(
  # Adjacent
  my ($self, $enemy) = @_;
  my $damage = int((15 * $self->g("Str") * $enemy->g("HP")) / 100);
  $self->{HP} += $damage;
  $self->{HP} = $self->g("MaxHP") if $self->{HP} > $self->g("MaxHP");
  $self->msg("[subj] leeches $damage HP from [1].", $enemy);
  $enemy->take_damage($damage);
  return 1;
)>
Symbol: green b
{UTIL_Init} <(
  my $self = shift;
  my $sub = sub {
    my $self = shift;
    my $x = random(50, 400);
    my $method = chooserand(qw(go move eat equip wield levelup die destroy));
    say chooserand(
      "<red>Use of uninitialized value in hash key on line $x!",
      "<red>Can't call method $method on undefined object at line $x!",
      "<red>You just suck as a programmer. Haha.",
      "<red>Error: Data::Dumper's debug routine is randomly deciding not to <red>work, probably because of something you've done."
    ) if $Game->{Active}{ $self->{ID} };
    return -13;
  };
  $self->delayevent(5, $sub);
)>
Behavior: <(
  if TP_lower(3),
    run()
  if adjacent() and TP_higher(4),
    attack(LeechConcentration)
  if near(8) and percent(50),
    attack(InduceHeadache)
  else
    stupid_chase()
)>
Exp: 4..6
</>

<penguin = Monster>
Name: penguin
Desc: Aw, what's a cute, lovable little stuffed Tux doing here in-- OH. It's
      teeth are a bit sharp, its red eyes fix you to one spot, and why's it
      holding that pitchfork...?
Str: 7..12
Def: 6..10
HP: 15..27
TP: 0
Rank: 3
#Attacks: None!
Symbol: red l
Equipment: pitchfork (Weapon)
Behavior: <(
  if adjacent(),
    attack(weapon_attack)
  else
    smart_chase()
)>
Exp: 10..15
</>

<joke = Monster>
Name: joke
Desc: Somehow you trust that it's just a joke, but why is she so malicious?
Str: 3..7
Def: 4..7
HP: 10..19
TP: 0
Rank: 3
# Throw is an attack?! OK, sure.
{Throw} (0) <(
  # USE MONSTER SHOOOOOOOOOOOT ROUTINEY? Nah, we always hit
  my ($self, $enemy) = @_;
  # Animation! Later.
  my $damage = random(2, $self->g("Str"));
  $enemy->msg("Ow! [1] pelts [subj] with a jawbreaker. It hurts in a deeper way than merely costing you $damage HP.", $self);
  $enemy->take_damage($damage);
  # Pretend we actually used one...
  $enemy->{Area}->inv($enemy->{Y}, $enemy->{X}, "add", $Game->{Content}{jawbreaker}->new);
  return 1;
)>
Symbol: aqua j
Behavior: <(
  if lined_up() and near(8),
    attack(Throw)
  else
    smart_chase()
)>
Exp: 4..8
</>

<teddybear = Monster>
Name: teddy bear
Desc: The teddy bear she got you for Valentine's Day represents the time when
      everything was beautiful, before she had changed. It says "Hug me." How
      you wish you could. But this bear's eyes are dull and lifeless, and its
      claws are probably used for anything except affection.
Str: 4..9
Def: 3..5
HP: 9..17
TP: 5..9
Rank: 3
{Hug} (4) <(
  # Makes you drop your weapon if wielding one. adjacent.
  my ($self, $enemy) = @_;
  my $damage = int($self->g("Str") * 1.5);
  $damage -= $enemy->g("Equipment.Armour")->rating if $enemy->g("Equipment.Armour");
  # Deduct durability from equipment
  $enemy->g("Equipment.Armour")->diminish if $enemy->g("Equipment.Armour");
  if ($damage > 0) {
    $self->msg("[subj] hugs [1], squeezing away $damage HP.", $enemy);
    $enemy->take_damage($damage);
  } else {
    $self->msg("[subj] hugs [1], but you feel no weaker.", $enemy);
  }
  if (my $weapon = $enemy->g("Equipment.Weapon")) {
    $Game->{Silence} = 1;
    $enemy->unequip($weapon);
    $enemy->drop($weapon);
    $Game->{Silence} = 0;
    $enemy->msg("[subj] fumble with [1P] [2], dropping it.", $enemy, $weapon);
  }
  return 1;
)>
{Claw} (2) <(
  # Adjacent
  my ($self, $enemy) = @_;
  my $damage = 3 + random(4, $self->g("Str") * 1.5);
  $damage -= $enemy->g("Equipment.Armour")->rating if $enemy->g("Equipment.Armour");
  # Deduct durability from equipment
  $enemy->g("Equipment.Armour")->diminish if $enemy->g("Equipment.Armour");
  if ($damage > 0) {
    $self->msg("[1P] claw tears into [2], scratching off $damage HP!", $self, $enemy);
    $enemy->take_damage($damage);
    return 1;
  } else {
    $self->msg("[1P] claw fails to scratch [2].", $self, $enemy);
    return -1;
  }
)>
Symbol: orange B
Behavior: <(
  if TP_lower(2),
    run()
  if adjacent() and TP_higher(3),
    attack(Hug)
  if adjacent(),
    attack(Claw)
  else
    smart_chase()
)>
Exp: 6..9
</>

# Rank 2 (Medium)

<bsod = Monster>
Name: BSOD
Desc: You are reminded of your unpleasant days using Windows. This hovering
      beast is a portal straight into philosophies you don't support.
Str: 10..15
Def: 9..15
HP: 30..50
TP: 5..15
Rank: 2
{OpenWindow} (4) <(
  # Summon code bugs, anywhere
  my ($self, $enemy) = @_;
  # How many spaces adjacent to enemy are open?
  my $map = $enemy->g("Area");
  my @spaces = ();
  foreach my $y ($enemy->{Y} - 1 .. $enemy->{Y} + 1) {
    foreach my $x ($enemy->{X} - 1 .. $enemy->{X} + 1) {
      push @spaces, [$y, $x] unless $map->barrier($y, $x) or $map->{Map}[$y][$x]{Char};
    }
  }
  unless (@spaces) {
    $self->msg("[subj] fails to open a window.");
    return -1;
  }
  $self->msg("[subj] opens a window to the world of proprietary software.");
  # How many bugs to summon?
  foreach (0 .. random(1, $#spaces)) {
    my ($y, $x) = ( @{ delrand(\@spaces) } );
    $Game->{Content}{codebug}->new(
      Z => $enemy->g("Z"),
      Y => $y,
      X => $x
    );
    say "A code bug appears!";
  }
  return 1;
)>
{Crash} (0) <(
  # self-destruct, rush to PC. activates when near-dead.
  my ($self, $enemy) = @_;
  # Don't worry about GETTING there, y'know?
  my $damage = $self->g("HP") * $self->g("Str");
  $self->msg("[subj] rushes blindly towards [1], self-destructing. Crash!", $enemy);
  $enemy->take_damage($damage);
  # BSOD dies, now.
  $self->die(1);
  return 1;
)>
{Freeze} (2) <(
  # Self-explanatory, adjacent. Damage and paralysis.
  my ($self, $enemy) = @_;
  my $damage = roll("$self->{Str}d5+3");
  $enemy->react(
    to => ["Before", "go"],
    when => 1,
    by => sub {
      $enemy->msg("[subj] [are/is] frozen!");
      return -1;
    },
    Name => "FROZEN"
  );
  $enemy->delayevent(3, sub {
    my $enemy = shift;
    $enemy->msg("[subj] dethaw.");
    $enemy->eventoff("FROZEN");
  });
  $self->msg("[subj] freezes [1]!", $enemy);
  $enemy->take_damage($damage);
  return 1;
)>
Symbol: Blue W
Behavior: <(
  if health_low(10) and percent(60),
    attack(Crash)
  if TP_lower(2),
    run()
  if adjacent(),
    attack(Freeze)
  if near(16) and TP_higher(3),
    attack(OpenWindow)
  else
    smart_chase()
)>
Exp: 15..20
</>

<memory = Monster>
Desc: All you can recall here in this place are bittersweet endings, pointless
      beginnings, good things dying, and bad things being nurtured.
Str: 6..12
Def: 8..14
HP: 25..35
TP: 10..16
Rank: 2
{Reminisce} (4) <(
  # Print random memory and deduct HP. ne ware.
  my ($self, $enemy) = @_;
  my $damage = roll("3d$self->{Str}");
  say chooserand(
    "\"I... I think you're beautiful.\" \"What? Haha, I just fell out of my chair! You probably shouldn't have told me that...\"",
    "\"I'm serious, if you get attached to me, you'll get hurt.\" \"I don't care, I'll face anything for you.\"",
    "\"Did you tell him to flirt with you?\" \"You have to be assertive!\"",
    "\"WOW... Nicole asked me to the dance!!!\""
  );
  $enemy->take_damage($damage);
  return 1;
)>
Symbol: red M
Behavior: <(
if TP_lower(4),
  run()
if near(12),
  attack(Reminisce)
  else
    smart_chase()
)>
Exp: 14..17
</>

<rabbit = Monster>
Name: white rabbit
Desc: Hippity-hop, hippity-hop... Just looking at this thing is making you
      trip. Jefferson Airplane fills your head, distracting you from the Monty
      Python-style teeth. Whip out the Holy Hand Grena-- Ask Alice how to beat
      it. But only when she's ten feet tall...
Str: 12..16
Def: 10..16
HP: 28..36
TP: 7..19
Rank: 2
{Bite} (7) <(
  # OW. adjacent
  my ($self, $enemy) = @_;
  my $damage = roll("10d3") + max(2, 5, 10);
  $self->msg("[1P] teeth slice into [2], tearing away $damage HP! It's a mean bunny!", $self, $enemy);
  $enemy->take_damage($damage);
  return 1;
)>
Symbol: White W
Behavior: <(
  if TP_lower(7),
    run()
  if adjacent(),
    attack(Bite)
  else
    smart_chase()
)>
Exp: 17..23
</>

# Rank 1 (Tough)

<gumbybrain = Monster>
Name: GumbyBrain
Desc: Whoa... it's the quote bot from the #perl IRC channel! Its physical
      manifestation simply cannot be described.
Str: 20..26
Def: 20..24
HP: 40..60
TP: 18..24
Rank: 1
{Quote} (9) <(
  # OW. 5 away.
  my ($self, $enemy) = @_;
  my $sy = $self->g("Y");
  my $sx = $self->g("X");
  my $py = $enemy->g("Y");
  my $px = $enemy->g("X");
  my $distance = $self->distance($Player);
  my $damage = int(roll("3d10") / $distance * 2);
  say chooserand(
    "18:14 < GumbyBRAIN> In all the humps. You'll see its a monster.",
    "17:57 < GumbyBRAIN> Having 2 sets of 4, we took 2 of the city line.",
    "18:19 < merlyn> of course -- but you don't want to do that."
  );
  $self->msg("[1P] profound statement dazes you. Your karma -- er, HP is lowered by $damage", $self, $enemy);
  $enemy->take_damage($damage);
  return 1;
)>
{MarkovChain} (15) <(
  my ($self, $enemy) = @_;
  my $damage = max(2, 5, 10) * int(min(4, 5, 10) / 2);
  $self->msg("[subj] whips you with a Markov Chain (literally), slicing away $damage HP.", $enemy);
  $enemy->take_damage($damage);
  return 1;
)>
Symbol: yellow G
Behavior: <(
  if TP_lower(9),
    run()
  if adjacent() and TP_higher(14),
    attack(MarkovChain)
  if near(8),
    attack(Quote)
  else
    smart_chase()
)>
Exp: 20..30
</>

<worry = Monster>
Desc: Why aren't your parents back yet? Why don't your friends reply? What
      if...
Str: 15..25
Def: 17..23
HP: 30..42
TP: 15..25
Rank: 1
{CrownofThorns} (18) <(
  # Places cursed item on player that deducts HP, steals helmet. adjacent.
  # dies after.
  my ($self, $enemy) = @_;
  # First pwn helmet.
  if (my $helmet = $enemy->g("Equipment.Helmet")) {
    # Any helmets in EmotionRL yet? :P
    $Game->{Silence} = 1;
    # No curses, hahahaha!
    $enemy->unequip($helmet);
    $Game->{Silence} = 0;
    $self->msg("[subj] incinerates your helmet with a mere glance.");
    $helmet->destroy;
  }
  # Be merciless...
  my $crown = $Game->{Content}{crownthorns}->new;
  $Game->{Silence} = 1;
  $enemy->g("Inv")->add($crown);
  $enemy->wear($crown);
  $Game->{Silence} = 0;
  $self->msg("[subj] mercilessly places a [1] upon [2P] head.", $crown, $enemy);
  $self->msg("[1P] work here is complete...", $self);
  $self->die(1);
  return 1;
)>
Symbol: Orange H
Equipment: needleblade (Weapon)
Behavior: <(
  if TP_lower(18),
    run()
  if adjacent(),
    attack(CrownofThorns)
  else
    smart_chase()
)>
Exp: 30..50
</>